Anyway...this week was ALL about RESPECT...Respecting yourself, that is! This was the kind of week that made me wish for one on one times with all of you. Time to sit face to face on a big couch (with our feet touching) and talk. Talk about this very thing that's got my thinking ROCKED...self respect!
We've all heard of "self respect" and we've talked about "self respect" but this approach was something I've never thought about before! Donald Miller, author and speaker shared this concept at the very beginning of the year by email...a little "beginning of the year motivation." I read it and haven't stopped thinking about it since.
And it is this…You are in a
relationship with yourself. Make it a healthy one.
It seems that we can all relate
to being in a relationship with other people.
In fact, sadly most of the time we are driven by other’s approval of us.
We feel good when people like us, we don’t feel so good when we hear that they
don’t. We have to be honest with ourselves to admit this…but for me anyway,
it’s true. I want to be loved and respected and valued by others…and when I am,
I feel better about me.
As I grow older and understand
more about beliefs and why we feel about ourselves like we do, I believe that
we shape the opinion of ourselves largely in part by others opinions of us.
From our upbringing and what we were told about ourselves to our adult hood…the
opinions of others somewhat shape us.
It’s as though we wear certain clothes and act a certain way and try to
succeed at things so other people will tell us we are good or valuable. And
when they do, we feel a little better about ourselves and when they don’t, we
start thinking we are losers.
Donald Miller, said that one day He spent a few hours with a
friend that he has a great deal of
respect for. He’s the kind of guy Don would really like to be. He’s kind,
productive, generous, humble, super disciplined, and respectable. Later that night Donald, after spending time with his friend, caught himself disrespecting himself a little bit. Just being
overly critical. And then it hit him.
I’m in a relationship with
myself.
I know that sounds a little odd,
but if you think about it, we really do operate like two people. We are a
person who lives and breathes and does things; then we are another person who
judges ourselves. It’s as though we have a critic in our brain.
Donald went on to say... "Then I had another major
epiphany."
“The
reason I respect my friend so much is because he does respectful things. I mean
he’s disciplined and considerate and generous and kind and, well, he doesn’t
look like a slob.”
And it worked. He would find himself wanting
to eat a half gallon of ice cream while watching TV and I asked himself “if you
skipped this, would you have a little more respect for yourself?” and the truth
is he would. So he skipped it. And he had much more self respect.
He liked himself more.
"This sort of
thing translated into a whole host of other areas of my life." He said, "I started holding
my tongue a little more and found I respected myself more when I was more
thoughtful in conversation. I found myself less willing to people please
because, well, people who people please aren’t as respectable, right?"
Here’s another thing he realized:
Human beings aren’t really motivated by goals as much as they’re motivated by
character transformation.
Every story that we love is about
a character that doubts himself or herself in the beginning and believes in
himself or herself at the end. The most powerful stories are about people who
learn something about themselves that changes their identity for the
better.
I want you to know the day after
I read this I started asking myself many times a day…Would I respect a person
who is doing this? It has been incredibly motivating!
We all want to be loved.
We all want to feel approval. So
why not get into a healthy relationship with yourself where you do respectable
things to earn your own respect?
I’ve noticed the people I admire
the most are the people who respect themselves, who have standards that seem to
have little to do with the opinions of others and much to do with their opinion
of themselves.
Some questions for you…
If you spent time with a friend
who packed their own food and ate a great lunch everyday would you respect
them?
If you spent time with a friend
who got up early…earlier than most to go to the gym every day would you respect
them?
If you had a friend who spoke
positive words about themselves and instead of playing the victim, choose to look
at the redemptive perspective of life difficulties would you respect them?
How about a friend who year after
year, walked and ate well and maintained their weight…would you respect them?
How about a friend who
prioritized and you could see that they cared for themselves, their families
and their work…respect?
So how about the friend who
quits?
The one who you see a year later
who has put weight back on?
How about the negative friend,
who’s always griping about life?
How much respect do you have for
the person you know who blames everyone else and justifies their wimpy behavior
? How much respect do you give them?
Do you respect the person who is
feeling stress and uses drugs of choice to numb or avoid?
What about the friend who stands
at the pantry door and eats crackers out of the box? (I put this one in for me)
What kind of character
transformation could you possibly have if you started to act in a way that
earned your respect!?
How many times a day could you
ask that question…would I respect a person who was doing what I’m doing right
now?
- People are deeply motivated by the potential transformation of how they see themselves.
- The opinions of others can be nice, but they're hardly objective.
- You are in a relationship with yourself and your opinion of yourself can help transform you.
- You’ll respect yourself a lot more if you do respectful things.
If you really want to change who
you are on the deepest level, start listening to that voice inside you and
start earning its respect by doing respectful things. You’d be surprised at how
fair and balanced you actually are when you change your decisions so that your
“self” can start to respect your “self.
Our winners for the week:
Noon: Team "Tiny Hineys" Janie and Marci with a 1.96% of weight loss
6PM: Team "Thinning Thunder Thighs" Angela and Tina with a 1.97% of weight loss!
Congratulation to you all!
And Congratulation to SO many of you who have already lost 20 or more pounds, made changes on the inside and are doing the work to change for life! We are 5 weeks in and have such great weeks ahead!!! Let's make the next 5 just as powerful!!!
Your Challenge for the week:
Lose 2.5 pounds
Drink all your water EVERY day.
Take 3 walks in the sunshine
Do all of these and you'll be entered into a drawing for $50! ( two drawings at each gathering!!)
Have a great week respecting yourself!!!
Always encouraging you,
Letha
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